Two Interviews ~ Two Rejections ~ Keep Positive they say!?!?!

So, everybody is out looking for work these days.  I so envy the employed!!!  I can just imagine the half of them bitching about their jobs and dragging themselves to work each day.  I used to be one of those.  Now I bitch cause I can’t find a job even though I do have skills.  I went on two interviews last week and got the rejections on Monday.  The stress of  interviewing made me sick, so the rest of the week was spent in bed!  Then again, I would have to guess that depression had something to do with it as well.  It is so stressful looking for employment while the creditors call and call demanding payments.  yeah I get it, you want your money, damn, I so want to pay you, but no money in means no money out.   I can’t apply for unemployment cause I haven’t had a job in three years.  There is no money to be had. 

To top it all off, my family wants me to move back to the city, and his family wants me to stay here, while he is in another state working and will be there for at least a year.  I am going to move back to the city, but there are only two months left of school for the kids, so should I move them now or just wait for school to end?  Decisions, decisions, decisions…  I am so ready to move.  I have gotten to the point that I hate being here and negativity starts to set in, which in turn makes me just want to sleep the day away.  It isn’t a great position to be in, especially when you are a positive person and have been searching non stop for employment to make the move so much easier. 

Everything I have read online about finding a job says to stay positive and keep the faith, but it sure is easy for someone who has a job to say that isn’t it.  And seriously, I try to keep the faith, but it isn’t easy and I can’t help but to fall into the negative hole from time to time. 

So today I am climbing out of the hole again and renewing my commitment to finding work to sustain me and my kids.  I totally feel sorry for my kids right now.  Their mom just isn’t together and they so deserve better.   They deserve a mom who has her shit together and doesn’t sleep during the day while they are at school only to surface 15 minutes before they get off the bus.  They deserve a mom who keeps the house clean and the laundry done.  Yes my kids deserve better, as do I, but for now, we just survive until some company sees my value and hires me!!! 

If we get through this year, I am hoping next year will be much better!  All we can do is keep the faith, and hope for the best.  My daily inspiration says to visualize the change, so I guess it is time to visualize what job I want so I can finally get to where I want to go.  So for now, I will sign off and go visualize the change…  wish me luck!