So, everybody is out looking for work these days.  I so envy the employed!!!  I can just imagine the half of them bitching about their jobs and dragging themselves to work each day.  I used to be one of those.  Now I bitch cause I can’t find a job even though I do have skills.  I went on two interviews last week and got the rejections on Monday.  The stress of  interviewing made me sick, so the rest of the week was spent in bed!  Then again, I would have to guess that depression had something to do with it as well.  It is so stressful looking for employment while the creditors call and call demanding payments.  yeah I get it, you want your money, damn, I so want to pay you, but no money in means no money out.   I can’t apply for unemployment cause I haven’t had a job in three years.  There is no money to be had. 

To top it all off, my family wants me to move back to the city, and his family wants me to stay here, while he is in another state working and will be there for at least a year.  I am going to move back to the city, but there are only two months left of school for the kids, so should I move them now or just wait for school to end?  Decisions, decisions, decisions…  I am so ready to move.  I have gotten to the point that I hate being here and negativity starts to set in, which in turn makes me just want to sleep the day away.  It isn’t a great position to be in, especially when you are a positive person and have been searching non stop for employment to make the move so much easier. 

Everything I have read online about finding a job says to stay positive and keep the faith, but it sure is easy for someone who has a job to say that isn’t it.  And seriously, I try to keep the faith, but it isn’t easy and I can’t help but to fall into the negative hole from time to time. 

So today I am climbing out of the hole again and renewing my commitment to finding work to sustain me and my kids.  I totally feel sorry for my kids right now.  Their mom just isn’t together and they so deserve better.   They deserve a mom who has her shit together and doesn’t sleep during the day while they are at school only to surface 15 minutes before they get off the bus.  They deserve a mom who keeps the house clean and the laundry done.  Yes my kids deserve better, as do I, but for now, we just survive until some company sees my value and hires me!!! 

If we get through this year, I am hoping next year will be much better!  All we can do is keep the faith, and hope for the best.  My daily inspiration says to visualize the change, so I guess it is time to visualize what job I want so I can finally get to where I want to go.  So for now, I will sign off and go visualize the change…  wish me luck!

OK, I really need to stop reading the news today and just go and play Animal Crossing!!!   So I haven’t been secretive about how my credit is virtually ruined now and how unemployment has gotten me there.  And I am fully aware of the difficulty of attaining a job with bad credit.   But according to this Aol article: 

 http://www.walletpop.com/credit/experian/poor-credit-score-kiss-these-goodbye

I an screwed in more ways than one.  And yes I realize the article was written so Experian can get more customers, but regardless, it is true.  College loans, business loans, home loans, job opportunities, and insurance rates are all impacted by those three numbers.  And I think it is pure shit.  Does the credit score take into consideration that I had stellar credit for 20 years prior to becoming unhappily unemployed?  And since loan interest and insurance rates will be higher, when I do find a job, I will end up paying more money out just because of one year of bad credit.  It certainly doesn’t seem right.

And why can’t anyone tell me the exact formula for figuring out my credit score?  You know it all depends on this, or that, and it is so complicated that the average joe just can’t do the math for him/herself.  That seems F’d up to me.  I want to know exactly how the credit score is figured out, after all, it certainly impacts me greatly!  Don’t I have the right to know how “they” grade me?  Just who are “they” anyway???  So many questions….. 

The whole credit system in America needs to be overhauled.  Take that on next Obama!!  Please before I do have to get college loans for my kids!!! 

Iz

Top Items I Hate About Looking For A Job….

1. Salary History

I don’t know about you, but I certainly don’t remember my salary history for the past 15 years.  Sure I can estimate, but give accurate amounts…no way!

1. Salary Request

I always hate this one.  Go too high and they write you off, go to low, and you wind up underpaid for the length of your tenure.  What is the right salary request?

1. Employment Dates

Again, I can’t remember all the exact dates I went from job to job.  I stayed at the same company for 15 years and was promoted to various positions.  There is no way I can remember the exact dates I was in different positions!

1. Previous Supervisor Contact Information

This one is crappy too!  Quite frankly all my previous supervisors aren’t there anymore, so I have no idea on how to get a hold of them now.  When you worked for a company who laid people off 3 quarters of the year to make the numbers, you just don’t keep in contact. 

1. Personality Tests

I have a great personality, but there are plenty of companies out there marketing their product to say differently.  Whatever happened to proven experience???  You can’t even get in the door until you pass the test that says if you would be a good fit or not.  How does one test say all that??? 

1. Credit Checks

Can’t say enough about this one.  Just because someone has hit upon some hard times, does that make them a loser for life???   Apparently so if the company wants to do credit checks before they will even interview you.

1. Previous Addresses/ Employer Addresses

Here is another one that is difficult to remember.  If you haven’t lived in the same place for 7 years, get your previous addresses together now!  How can I remember?   And the employer address is another one that is not that easy to remember.  Thank God for Google!!!

1. Lengthy Application Process

Wow could the employment world benefit from one application that can be submitted for all.  There are plenty of companies out there who have their own application process and they are long!!!  Why submit a resume if you end up having to type all the information over again in their own employment application process???  What is the resume for again???  And I just love those systems who parse out the info from your resume.  Who quality checked those apps?????? 

OK done venting now!  But if you are looking for a job like me, keep this info in mind.  Save yourself some time and create a cheat sheet with the above info.  And good luck keeping your sanity through this process!!!

Iz

So I went to the city with the kids for the weekend, we stayed at my parents house.  My mother wants me to move in with them until I get back on my feet.  She feels that since my husband has chosen a job that requires him to move to wherever he works, he in effect has abandoned us in his neck of the woods.  I can’t help but agree with her.  I didn’t choose to live in the middle of nowhere, he wanted us to move here and live here.  Now he is gone working in another state until November, when he will move again to somewhere else to work.  He is a construction forman for a commercial builder.   And he isn’t here for me or the kids.  He has talked about moving back here, but the money isn’t here and there aren’t any jobs.  I get that, as I have been searching in this area for six months now.  But I also get that we could move to a city, where I could become gainfully employed and he could be looking for something and we would be much better off financially then we are now.  Now, we are poor.  Very poor.  It is a new experience for me, and one I will never forget as I dig my way out of it. 

But, I fear the employment landscape has changed so much in the past years, that I will have much difficulty finding a position that I am qualified for.  I have professional business and technical skills.  And I have applied for almost 25+ jobs in the last two weeks.  Two have sent me additional information about their employment process, and I have to wonder just how difficult is it to get a job these days.  Both have required tests regarding your personality.  Both are requesting background checks and the much dreaded credit check.  The credit check could tank me immediately.  Which totally sucks considering three years ago it was stellar and had been for 20 years.  The past year alone has ruined my credit and now I fear it will hurt my chances of getting a good job.  Which just doesn’t seem right.  The whole reason I so desperately need a job right now is to get me out of this credit crisis.  And the reason that I may not find a great job is the credit card companies.  These banks who have mismanaged them selves to the point that the government (My tax dollars) have to step in to save them are the reason I can’t even get hired with bad credit.  Bad credit that they intensified with their multiple and exorbitant fees.  Crooks are costing me work.  They should be left to their own demise.   I do not agree with bailing them out if I can’t get a bail out myself.  WTF??? 

This country is so F’d up right now, I fear for the future of my children.  What will be left for them?  It is just so sick and wrong.  What happened to America?  I can’t imagine my ancestors who came here for a better life from Sweden could have ever thought that these days would come to pass.  The corruption and greed of a few have destroyed many.   The whole country needs an overhaul!!!   I certainly hope that Obama can work some magic and get us out of this mess.  Is it really too much to ask for…a job so I can pay my bills and feed my family???  What has this world come to?  Sad isn’t it….

Iz

Sorry to be absent a couple days.  Been dealing with climbing out of my little hole.  I have intensified the job search and decided to move back to the city where there are more opportunities.  So, I have been in full planning mode and have taken my Ritalin regularly to help me out. 

I just read a news article, it’s short, so I will post it here:

“The FBI is conducting more than 500 investigations of corporate fraud amid the financial meltdown.

FBI Deputy Director John Pistole is describing the bureau’s efforts to the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Pistole says there are 530 active corporate fraud investigations, and 38 of them involve corporate fraud and financial institution matters directly related to the economic crisis.

Also appearing before the committee is Neil Barofsky, the watchdog of the government’s $700 billion Wall Street rescue package passed last year.

Senate Democrats are urging more spending to expand the ranks of the FBI’s financial fraud investigators.”

Guess what, as a former corporate employee, I only see this number going up.  I had a position where I was high enough to witness the abuse of some executives.  And quite frankly it was startling.  As someone who was raised with values and ethics, I couldn’t understand how people like that were in the positions they held.  It certainly turned me off to a career path in Corporate America.  Quite honestly, the abuse was so rampant, that I couldn’t figure any other way to advance but to join their party or become a pawn in their chess game.   I chose to take a position that limited my exposure to them and just put my head down and do my job.  Of course, I wasn’t a player, so I eventually got laid off, but truly it beats being an unethical human being. 

And there were plenty of ethical abuses.  These people at the top had cars, houses, boats, toys galore, and they just kept making more money while limiting the income potential of employees at lower levels.  They limited merit increases, reduced bonuses and increased the cost of benefits to the employee.  Here were the very people who afforded them a luxury lifestyle and they were screwing them any way possible.   Sure there were cut backs that needed to be made, but you never saw those people cut back anything.  They lied, cheated, and abused their power.  They took care of the people who covered for them and tortured those who didn’t.  I saw many good people suffer at their expense.  But I wasn’t in a position as a single mother to do anything about it.  And that is exactly what they count on.  If you want to keep your job ~ shut up, sit down, and do your job.  See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil and you will be fine.

The only time I did decide to speak up I got no support at all and ended up being let go.  I was a trouble maker.  And yes I was a single mother with two kids to feed.  And the abuse went further when the company told a recruiting company I was working with to get another job that I was a bad employee.  I was black listed and couldn’t find another job in that city. 

There is no greater pain than lowering your child’s quality of life because you have had enough and decide to do something about it.  What lesson is to be learned in that?  Yep – If you want to keep your job ~ shut up, sit down, and do your job.  See no evil, speak no evil, hear no evil and you will be fine.

I do not want to work for a corporation again, but feel that I don’t have a choice given my extensive business experience and current state of financial ruin.  But this time I have a plan, I will find a job, but while I am working I am going to get my Masters degree in Counseling so I can start my own business and leave corporations for good. 

Don’t get me wrong, I am sure that there are some good corporations out there, and some good executives who aren’t abusive.  But I have personally worked with 3 separate organizations and have experienced the same ethical concerns with the top executives of all three.  And these are Fortune 500 companies, not just some small companies. 

I am glad the rest of the world is finding out about these executives, but I am also worried about what it means for Corporate America as a whole.  Just when the country is in a crisis, we need ethical executives more than ever.  Hopefully there are some out there that can take over for the crooks and save some of the good companies. 

Iz

So I read this this morning: 

$18 billion. That’s what Wall Street bankers pulled down in bonuses over the past two months, according to a report from the New York State comptroller — even as many of these institutions received billions in taxpayer dollars. “That is the height of irresponsibility. It is shameful,” President Obama said today, following a meeting with Vice President Joe Biden, Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner, and the rest of the economic team.

And shameful is right, but FU’d is closer.  In a time when people are just flat broke, wall street gets bonuses.  What is that all about.   And yes I did work for a corporation and yes I did receive bonuses.  But I never got huge amounts!  I got at most $10,000 and I think that was only for 1 year.  Usually the bonuses were set up in some FU’d system to ensure you never got the full amount.  Of course the top execs got their full amount, but that is how that game is played  now isn’t it.  Bet those people don’t have creditors calling them all damn day. 

The phone rings so much at my house that I think it’s ringing even when it is not.  Now I get why I am being harrassed daily, the executives at those companies need money to pay their high dollar bonuses!!  But don’t get me wrong, I owe the money, and god willing I will find a job so I can pay them back and close those accounts so I never have to go through this again! 

Speaking of money (the root of all evil ~ whoever said that was a genius!) I was checking out if there was a way to get some assistance with prescription drug costs since yesterday spent $500 on the kids ADHD meds, and there isn’t unless you have no insurance.  Well I do have insurance, but just shitty insurance!  To keep the costs down, I go with a higher deductible and of course due to the pre existing condition of the ADHD the kids all have deductibles to meet that are specific to drug coverage.  The next few months are really going to suck!!

All I can do is sell my possessions and continue to look for a job.  I look every day with a self quota of placing 3 applications in per day.  Nothing yet, but I continue to hope that employment is looming in my future.  Not only will I not be bored out of my mind anymore, but I will also get some much needed income to stop the harassment.  I just don’t understand why credit card companies can’t be like the medical centers who accept smaller amounts per month until it’s paid off.  I tried to tell one company that I could send in a monthly payment, but just not what they wanted per month.  They told me that it wasn’t enough and I had to accept a settlement by law.  So if you miss your payments by so many months, the government dictates that the companies settle the account.  I don’t get it, and who knows if it is true?  They will all try anything to get whatever out of you that they can.  But I wish they could look at the whole picture.  I have had stellar credit for years and years only to be laid off and struggling with ruined credit now.  Why can’t someone with some intelligence look at that and say, hmmm… she has always paid on time, maybe we will give her a couple of months to get it together and then start billing her again.  What would be wrong with that???

Oh well, I am off to look for a job again.  Listening to creditor’s messages.  Waiting for the kids to get home.  BORING!!!!!

Have a fab weekend!

So I go to the pharmacy today and get my kids ADHD drugs.  The new year started and I’ve yet to reach the deductible so I pay $500 for a 1 month supply.  Yep, $500!  And then I get a letter from the insurance company and they are increasing our payments from $417.00 to $499.79 per month.  So that really sucks especially when you don’t have any extra money lying around.  That is a difficult hit at the beginning of the year and we won’t hit the drug deductible until March.  This is a rough quarter for us. 

Then I come home and read about ADHD drugs causing hallucinations in some kids.  So, not only do I pay $500 for the drugs, but  the side effects can cause hallucinations.  I could use some hallucinations right now, but I won’t be getting my drugs until March!  (unless I become gainfully employed before then!) 

So, let’s talk about insurance companies…  They suck… OK, now let’s talk about Pharmaceutical companies… They suck…  OK now that I have got that all out, how about all these people killing themselves because they don’t have jobs even though they have excellent qualifications and the credit card companies keep harassing them…  So I have to say honestly that I get it.  And NO I am not going to choose to do that, but I do understand how you can be so down and out that you can’t see any other way out.  I understand that frustration.  Of having your kids look to you for answers when you just don’t have any.  Kids asking why they don’t have what other kids have…and having to say, well, we are poor. 

I feel for these people making these irreversible choices.  I understand why they did, but seriously, what changes???  The world goes on…  We all read the stories, feel sorry for those involved, and continue on with our lives.  There is no gain from it ~ only peace for the people who decide that they have no alternative.  And peace is quite enticing when you are looking for work and can’t find any knowing that every time the phone rings it is someone else wanting money from you while you don’t have any to give. 

This world needs some compassion for those less fortunate.   This country needs to stop bailing out all those big companies with uber rich executives and start bailing out the people who truly need it.  Why can’t the government take their 700 gazillion bucks and pay each tax payer $100,000.  I am sure someone much smarter than I would find a million reasons why that can’t happen, but just think about it for a minute.  Wouldn’t it equal close to the same amounts spent having to bail out these companies???  Wouldn’t people getting money spur the economy??  They could pay their bills and then some of these companies wouldn’t be in so much trouble.  People wouldn’t be loosing their houses, cars, or whatever else that they are loosing right now.    So why can’t the government do something that dramatic??  I truly believe it is called for these days.  Don’t send me $300, it doesn’t even cover a month of health insurance for my family.  Send me a real amount that can make a difference.  I need it now, and I have paid quite a bit in taxes over the years, damn it, I want my money back!!!!!

OK, off to make dinner now.  But think about it, why not as tax payers don’t we all demand more from the government and stop all this bail out crap of companies. 

Iz