You would think that with a first crush as Mr. Rodgers, I would have ended up with someone nice, gentle, and kind.  Hmmm..apparently something went wrong along the way.   All my boyfriends, or husbands were jerks.  They all cheated on me, some more than others, but cheated just the same.  There have been guitar players, drummers, salesmen, and construction workers.  Hmm…come to think of it, it does make some sense now doesn’t. 

So as a single mother, I guess my next man will have to be more stable, career minded, and family first.  And of course, he wouldn’t cheat on me.  Wow.  Does that even exist anymore?  I certainly am begining to wonder.  Do all men cheat?  Lately it appears as if they all do.  But aren’t there men out there who don’t cheat?  And where are they?  What do they do?  Where do they live?  What happened to honesty these days anyway?

Hmm…I guess I am somewhat frustrated with men these days.  Oh well, I guess at least it did give me something to write about for day 2!!!

What is the deal with men these days?   Seriously, when you agree to get married, the point is to be faithful to your wife…  That means keeping your penis in your pants and only taking it out when you are alone or with your wife.  WTF is so difficult with that concept??   I just don’t get it….  

What is wrong with men?  There have been so many in the news lately who have been unable to follow that one little rule…keep it in your pants until you are alone or with your wife.   It isn’t rocket science that relationships are difficult and not always smooth, but when you make a committment, you need to keep it.  Now, if you don’t want to be in a committed relationship, (nevermind that you shouldn’t have entered into one to begin with) then you open your mouth (not your zipper) and have a rational conversation with the person you committed to.  Again, not rocket science!  Is it tough?  Well, duh!  Of course it is, but grow up man!!!  Be a responsible adult and bring it.

Day 1 rant over…

And I am writing again. Of course I am in the middle of getting a Masters degree, what the hell was I thinking?? But I am feeling the creativity that was lacking before. So, I am quite sure I will be posting some poetry soon.

Ciao!

To top it all off, my family wants me to move back to the city, and his family wants me to stay here, while he is in another state working and will be there for at least a year.  I am going to move back to the city, but there are only two months left of school for the kids, so should I move them now or just wait for school to end?  Decisions, decisions, decisions…  I am so ready to move.  I have gotten to the point that I hate being here and negativity starts to set in, which in turn makes me just want to sleep the day away.  It isn’t a great position to be in, especially when you are a positive person and have been searching non stop for employment to make the move so much easier. 

Everything I have read online about finding a job says to stay positive and keep the faith, but it sure is easy for someone who has a job to say that isn’t it.  And seriously, I try to keep the faith, but it isn’t easy and I can’t help but to fall into the negative hole from time to time. 

So today I am climbing out of the hole again and renewing my commitment to finding work to sustain me and my kids.  I totally feel sorry for my kids right now.  Their mom just isn’t together and they so deserve better.   They deserve a mom who has her shit together and doesn’t sleep during the day while they are at school only to surface 15 minutes before they get off the bus.  They deserve a mom who keeps the house clean and the laundry done.  Yes my kids deserve better, as do I, but for now, we just survive until some company sees my value and hires me!!! 

If we get through this year, I am hoping next year will be much better!  All we can do is keep the faith, and hope for the best.  My daily inspiration says to visualize the change, so I guess it is time to visualize what job I want so I can finally get to where I want to go.  So for now, I will sign off and go visualize the change…  wish me luck!

But low and behold, my son begins puking on Tuesday morning right before school!  Here we go again!  Bleach, bleach, bleach…  I spent the day taking care of him and making him drink water, which he didn’t see the value in!  That was a good time to say the least.  He was down for the count until Wednesday night, and yes you guessed it, it was my turn!!  I didn’t have it as bad, but I was out part of Wednesday and all day Thursday. 

The interesting thing about this flu virus, is that when I looked up 24 hour flu; all the medical sites claimed that there is no such thing.  Hmmm, really??  So why did this flu bug run the same course with my mom, daughter, son, and myself??  First puking, then fever, then fine 24 hours later.  No such thing huh?  They all claimed it was a type of food poisoning.  Which I find interesting since none of us ate the same thing during the week we were all sick!  Whatever! 

So, today I am in recovery mode and sanitizing the whole house again just for good measure.  I certainly don’t want that virus again.  It was vile.  And I felt like I just missed a whole week of my life!! 

So, I am in catch up mode with my posts!  Enjoy~

Iz

“Goshdarnit
Something has gone wrong with our servers. It’s probably Matt’s fault.
We’ve just been notified of the problem.
Hopefully this should be fixed ASAP, so kindly reload in a minute and things should be back to normal.”

Kind of freaked me out. But it is refreshing and entertaining!

IZ

 http://www.walletpop.com/credit/experian/poor-credit-score-kiss-these-goodbye

I an screwed in more ways than one.  And yes I realize the article was written so Experian can get more customers, but regardless, it is true.  College loans, business loans, home loans, job opportunities, and insurance rates are all impacted by those three numbers.  And I think it is pure shit.  Does the credit score take into consideration that I had stellar credit for 20 years prior to becoming unhappily unemployed?  And since loan interest and insurance rates will be higher, when I do find a job, I will end up paying more money out just because of one year of bad credit.  It certainly doesn’t seem right.

And why can’t anyone tell me the exact formula for figuring out my credit score?  You know it all depends on this, or that, and it is so complicated that the average joe just can’t do the math for him/herself.  That seems F’d up to me.  I want to know exactly how the credit score is figured out, after all, it certainly impacts me greatly!  Don’t I have the right to know how “they” grade me?  Just who are “they” anyway???  So many questions….. 

The whole credit system in America needs to be overhauled.  Take that on next Obama!!  Please before I do have to get college loans for my kids!!! 

Iz

“The U.S. was secretly flying unmanned drones from the Shamsi airbase in Pakistan’s southwestern province of Baluchistan as early as 2006, according to an image of the base from Google Earth, the Times of London reported Thursday.

The image — that is no longer on the site but which was obtained by The News, Pakistan’s English language daily newspaper — shows what appear to be three Predator drones outside a hangar at the end of the runway. 

The Times also obtained a copy of the image, whose coordinates confirm that it is the Shamsi airfield, also known as Bandari, about 200 miles southwest of the Pakistani city of Quetta.

The Times reported yesterday that the CIA was secretly using Shamsi to launch the Predator drones that observe and attack Al Qaeda and Taliban militants around Pakistan’s border with Afghanistan.

U.S. special forces used the airbase during the invasion of Afghanistan in 2001, but the Pakistani Government said in 2006 that the Americans had left and both sides have since denied repeatedly that Washington was using Pakistani bases.

Two senior U.S. defense officials told FOX News that no Predator unmanned aerial vehicles are currently or have recently been based on Pakistani territory, despite a statement by Sen. Dianne Feinstein, Chairman of the Senate Intelligence Committee, at a recent Congressional intelligence hearing.

However, they could use the Shamsi air base if they needed to. The base is well known to the U.S. military and was used by the Americans in 2001 and 2002 at the beginning of the war in Afghanistan.

One U.S. official told FOX News the U.S. has been flying “Predators or UAVs” in Pakistan since 2002. 

There have been 30 strikes since August with 11 top leaders of Al Qaeda taken out, according to intelligence reports.

Senior officials also confirm that Pakistan has been aiding the U.S. in its Predator unmanned aerial vehicle strikes in Pakistan’s tribal areas, despite its leaders very public protests that they see the strikes as a breach of sovereignty.

Both President Asif Ali Zardari and General Ashraf Kayani, the head of Pakistan’s army, have turned a blind eye to the strikes. According to the officials, these two leaders have launched no protests behind the scenes to U.S. officials about the strikes.

Any public protests have been for public consumption inside Pakistan. One official, however, says that not all elements of the Pakistani government are aware of this cooperation or support it – suggesting other civilian leaders may not be onboard.”

And I have to say WTF???   Of course we are spying on the region.  Duh!?!  But thanks to Google Earth, now everybody knows.  Knock it off.  It isn’t secret anymore.  Why does the media have to go and report this type of stuff.  Doesn’t this put our troops in harms way?  All I want is to live a peaceful life without threats on my life and the lives of my children just because we were born in America.  I just don’t understand the mentality of hating someone because they are in one country or another. 

Everyone has their own viewpoint, but killing people because of that viewpoint just seems wrong.  I think religion was never meant to be such a divider.  It should be unifying people with the thought that we each have a “god” and can worship accordingly.  You believe in yours, I believe in mine or we don’t, but it certainly isn’t a reason to kill each other.  I just don’t get it.  I wish no harm to anyone. 

I fully support drones spying on countries where terrorists live and have the goal of killing me or my kids.  I don’t support the media who decides to tell the world and compromise the mission. 

Iz

Like so many others, I too have had my experience with domestic violence, and interestingly enough, it was when I was 20 as well.  It always begins slowly, then escalates to a major blow out which usually is the turning point in the relationship.  I see this situation for Rihanna as her turning point.  My heart goes out to her during this time.  I know first hand that the physical injuries heal, but the mental and emotional injuries take lots of time. 

The guilt that one feels as the victim is astounding.  Yes I believed as so many others have that it was my fault.  It is very difficult for anyone not in the situation to understand how one could blame themselves, but you do.  You feel sorry for the abuser and want to help them, even at your own expense.  OR you feel so helpless that you know that one day they will kill you, but you don’t care anymore.  It is truly a sad situation to be in. 

The good news is that it can be overcome.  You can get out of the cycle of abuse and move on to a better life.  Rihanna can turn this situation around for herself and many other girls who are in the same position as she is.  It is hard, but it can be done.  It is especially difficult to fall in love for the first time in your life only to have that person not appreciate what you are offering them.  I have been there and overcome, with a good network so can she.  I hope that she does not allow him into her life anymore.  Mostly for her and partly for the other women out there watching the situation to see what she does.  As a “star” she is a role model whether she likes or not, and there are plenty of girls out there going through what she is going through who will look to her next move to plan their own.  I feel sorry for her to have to play this out in public, but I hope she takes the responsibility seriously and ends the relationship, heals, and overcomes.  She appears strong enough to do just that, and I hope she does. 

As for Chris, he needs help too, but I feel he is seeking more help with the spin as opposed to helping himself become a better person.  Can’t say for sure, but it would appear that he is worried about his career instead of his actions.  He needs to get help so he doesn’t do this to another girlfriend.  Without help the cycle just repeats itself and someone else will fill Rihanna’s shoes.  Next time it could be more severe than this time was.  Being so young, I fear the escalation process that comes with abusers.  Change can only happen if you want it and if you seek it.  It’s his move, but whatever he does, I certainly hope he doesn’t continue to pursue Rihanna. 

To Chris:  Leave her alone, you had your chance and blew it.  Move on and help yourself now. 

To Rihanna:  Be strong, mend your broken heart and soul, and come out victorious.  Don’t let one bad seed take away what is in you and what you have to offer to another.  There are good men out there who won’t abuse you, know that and heal for now. 

The cycle of abuse is one that continues through life until you choose to do something about it.  If you are being abused, get help and plan accordingly, it you are an abuser, get help and become a better person. 

Iz